But I called her that night and we just lay there, hersobbing for an hour, me just on the phone with her, long after herparents had gone to sleep and nobody could hear her.But you know this isn't really about her either.Atnas, wherever you are, I guess I've given up hope believing in you.It's been ages and I'm probably too old to believe, but, well, I felt itreally, really strongly. Once in a while I'll look at a girl and wish Iwas her, and when I looked at Maddie throughout the pageant I justreally, really wanted to be her and win the pageant.I realise I always write to you when I want to be Maddie.Anyway, I'm going to get up early and take her to breakfast, so I've gotto get to bed. Just, well, you know, I just want to not feel like thissometimes. It's weird. I keep hoping but I don't know if it's worth it.Anyway. See you around, Atnas.Please?6.Atnas;It's been a while since I wrote that last letter. I remember it. Iremember all the letters I wrote to you, all the intense feelings. I use the word "attempted" there. Because, despite the urgency of the feeling, I found that I just could not go.I heard Kristen's stream finish--it hadn't lasted very long--and heard a bit of rustling."Jim?" I heard Kristen whisper. "Are you done? I have some Kleenex..." Um..." I said, glad for the darkness, because I was probably as red as Kristen's Camaro. "I um... can't go..."I heard Kristen giggle softly, and heard her approach me. "Here... let me..."I felt, rather than saw, Kristen's right hand encircle my shaft, which felt harder and thicker than it had in any time since that incredible kiss we shared before dinner. I was cringing in embarrassment, although her touch on my dick was soft, and Kristen let a few of her fingers brush against the front of my ball sac.If I couldn't perform by myself, knowing that Kristen was behind me, then the situation appeared even more hopeless, since her touch on my rock-hard tube was sending all the wrong signals to my cock."Um, Kristen....
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